D3 body, D1 cock
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
