and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
