I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
