Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
