If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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