Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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