My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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