If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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