Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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