All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
