I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
