You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
These tits shall not be calmed
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
