How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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