turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
