He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
