Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
