ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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