I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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