bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
