***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
