My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
