we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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