If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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