Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
