he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
