Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
