clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You are the jesus of drinking
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
