I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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