I want to have your abortion
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
