I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Farmville is her only friend.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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