with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
