found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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