At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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