Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
