So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
