i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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