Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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