xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
