Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
we should paint friendship bongs
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