Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
