I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
