grandma shit on top of the toilet
Please, let me fuck your mom
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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