This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
