What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
