If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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