I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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