Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
