Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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