After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
