It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
