I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
