you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
